Women, in particular young women and newlyweds, are often bombarded by questions and comments relating to when they will be starting a family.
These (what should be) private matters are usually made public by their nearest and dearest friends and family. But I very rarely hear about women that have to deal with comments and questions at the opposite end of the scale.
I am a 20 something young woman, married and a mother of two children. My family (in particular) and some friends believe that it is their place to decide that it is time for my uterus to be ‘closed’. Too many times I’ve had to grin and bare uncomfortable comments and felt obliged to answer personal questions about my future reproductive intentions.
“So, you’re done having kids now. Yea?” “Two is more than enough. If you have any more you will just be on of those social security dependent mums.” “You can’t have anymore. You can’t even cope with the ones you have.” Oh, and my FAVOURITE “Now it’s time to keep your knees shut!”. Yes, all of these and more have been spat in my direction by the people that are meant to be closest to me. I am sure they meant well when making these comments. But each and every word has stuck with me and slowly pushes me further and further away from them.
Not only are these comments and questions (I believe) insanely rude but they are offensive and really hurtful. I was gifted with a fully functioning uterus and all the other bits and pieces needed to grow a small human. And by me NOT keeping my legs shut. I’ve created the family that I always wanted an
d dreamed of having. I made two beautiful, intelligent and happy people that I live and breathe for. Sometimes it is hard and I struggle, but I wouldn’t change it.
If and when I want to have more children is completely up to ME.
The road to motherhood and where I am today has been far from smooth sailing. I battled with post natal depression after my first child and I am working through it again following my second. My husband and I have had our share of financial problems after a failed business which in turn caused problems within our marriage of EPIC proportions. But I am getting help for my PND and my husband and I are working on rebuilding our empire and our marriage. I understand and agree that adding more children to the mix complicates tough and/or strained situations BUT that doesn’t give anyone the right to think that they can influence or take the decision away from me.
When did it become acceptable for people to judge and attempt to dictate aspects of other people’s lives? This might sound crazy. But if everyone stopped judging others and stepped forward, listened
and volunteered to help where it’s needed. The world might not be such a dark, lonely place to live in.
Has or does this happen to you? Please leave your story in the comments, I can’t be the only one.
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